I’m Drowning. Where am I? I look around and I am drowning in a pool of fear and doubt. I look to my left and I see the dollar signs that are so closely following me. I panic. How did they find me even here? Trying to find relief… I look to my right and see the mirror. The mirror that’s followed me all of my life. The exposure of all my inadequacies; of heart and mind. It tells me that it is my true reality. It taunts me. It haunts me. My head begins to spin and my heart begins to race. I’m drowning. How did I get here? This is not okay. There is something wrong, surely I’ve come to the wrong place. People tell me, when you are in the will of God there will be peace… that’s it… I must have come to the wrong place. I heard you wrong. Unless… you… did you put me in this pool that will surely bring the end? When? Why? How? Too many questions in my head! I’m drowning. Where are you? No seriously where are you?! I thought you were good! I thought I could trust you! I’m drowning in questions. I’m drowning in doubt. Oh God, if you could only see your daughter now. When the going gets tough, I know I’m not enough. The mirror shows me the truth. Spiritually, emotionally, physically… I’m a weed. There’s no room for growth. I’m drowning in my doubt. Left, right, left…. (sigh) right…. There’s no place to look. Where are you? That’s when You say, look up. Tears are running down my face. My tears are filling this pool that surely is my fate… Frozen in this pool of fear and doubt. This is it… there’s no way out. I begin to drown and I hear you scream, MY DAUGHTER JUST LOOK UP!!! I promise I am enough. I don’t know how but your words wake me from the destruction that so closely entangles me. And I see that there is only one way out. Slowly, slowly, slowly my head begins to move. As my head moves I see the dollar signs fighting their way to me.. I begin to tremble. As my head moves I see the mirror trying to reflect all that I’ve been… all that I am. Up, up, up… my head moves up. And then in a glorious moment my eyes are locked with yours. You look at me. Grace. Kindness. I look into your eyes…. It can’t be…. Do I even see love. I promise I am enough. My daughter. Don’t doubt. Moving me into reality. Moving me into reality, the dollar signs vanish. All debt has been paid. Moving me into reality the mirror shatters. All I am allowed to see… are the things you do…. Beauty and grace. A daughter loved and free. I’m not a weed… you blossom me. Reality. Is. You. They can’t stand against you. Holding me you whisper: I promise I am enough. I won’t let you drown. I define you. Why do I doubt? Why do I think you’ll allow me to drown? You are enough. You won’t let me drown. You, Yahweh, define me.
Are your circumstances causing you to doubt God? Are you worried you can’t trust Him?
Join us for a Discipleship Training School and learn what it means to ‘look up’ and know that God is for you and He is faithful!
Jesus lived for the approval of one person only — the Father. Throughout the Bible we see Him breaking down religious expectations and righteously breaking the rules of society while still fulfilling the law. He clearly demonstrated that gaining the approval of man was not His objective.
Salvation Over Reputation
Jesus was much less concerned with the social status of Zacchaeus and He was much more concerned with the condition of his heart.
In the story of Zacchaeus, we find a rich, chief tax collector in Jericho. He was despised by the Romans because of his dishonest practices and was an outcast in his community. When Jesus was passing through his hometown, Zacchaeus was eager to see Him among the crowds. Though Zacchaeus was a reject among his peers, Jesus chose to call him out of the masses. Jesus invited himself to Zacchaeus’ house that night and many people (particularly the religious people) were displeased. It was offensive that Jesus would socialize with such a “sinner.” However, Jesus was much less concerned with the social status of Zacchaeus and He was much more concerned with the condition of his heart. Jesus led Zacchaeus to salvation that day to the glory of God (Luke 19: 1-10). Jesus took one of the most despised people in town and chose to love Him. He clearly shows us that each individual is worth His love and forgiveness, regardless of who they are or what they have done. How many opportunities do we miss out to share the love of Christ because of outward perceptions or appearances?
Love Over Law
To heal him would be an act of compassion and love but it would also contradict the law.
In Mark 3: 1-6, Jesus visited a synagogue where there were many people. Among them was a man with a shriveled hand. Jesus questioned those around him to see whether it was lawful to heal this man on the Sabbath. To heal him would be an act of compassion and love but it would also contradict the law. The people were silent. In spite of the crowd’s disapproval, Jesus said to the crippled man, “Stretch out your hand.” When he stretched it out, his hand was immediately restored. Though the people had just witnessed a miracle, their hearts grew callous. Jesus chose to demonstrate the Father’s love and he healed a man. Jesus came to bring freedom from the law because he was the fulfillment of the law!Jesus always knew the right place and time to do miracles in order to teach a greater message. As Christians, we often shy away from doing radical things because we are afraid of receiving judgement from other people. What would it look like to put listening to God and loving people over keeping religious traditions?
Authenticity over Performance
In Luke 7:36-50, a pharisee (religious person) invited Jesus over for dinner. During their meal, a woman from the city came to visit him. She was a profound sinner and not welcome at the home of a pharisee. But she came anyways. At the sight of Jesus, she fell to the floor, weeping at His feet. As she wept, she washed the feet of Jesus with her tears. And as she washed his feet, she kissed them and anointed them with expensive perfume. The pharisee and his guests were in disbelief because Jesus had allowed such a sinful woman to touch him. However, Jesus was not offended by her sins — he was in love with her faith. Though she could have been publicly shamed for performing such an act, she believed that Jesus could rescue her. From the moment she entered his presence, she humbly knelt at his feet and he offered her forgiveness. She new the weight of her sins but she had faith that Jesus had the power to deliver. Regardless of the social humility she could have experienced, in humble adoration, she emptied herself before Jesus. Jesus, in the midst of dining with religious men, welcomed the woman not as a burden but as a friend and she received forgiveness. Jesus set her as an example to those in the room.
Again and again, we see Jesus doing radical things in the face of people that did not approve of Him or His actions.
Again and again, we see Jesus doing radical things in the face of people that did not approve of Him or His actions. Jesus stirred up society with passion and fire and gave no second thought to the opinions of others. He knew that even if people hated, accused, and mocked Him, He would obey the will of the Father.
By letting go of what others think of us, we can effectively start living out our full potential as kingdom and culture shakers. Here are 3 ways we can follow Jesus’ ultimate example and avoid the approval trap in our lives:
Examine who you are trying to please and whose opinion ultimately matters.
Always look further than yourself. Serve and love other people who are in need regardless of what others may think.
Humble yourself. Strip away your pride and let people see the real you. Be honest with your shortcomings and liberate other people to do the same.
In what ways are you letting the opinions of others stop you from realizing the fullness of God in your life and the lives of others?
Come join us for a Discipleship Training School and learn how to find your identity in Jesus.
My journey to becoming a missionary with YWAM began in September 2013. For several years before coming to YWAM Montana I had been actively involved in different youth ministries. Between leading the youth group at my church, discipling students at a Christian high school and coordinating outreach opportunities at a province wide youth conference — I felt I had my ministry life made. I was in a place vocationally that played into my gifts, my talents, and my abilities and I found so much joy in what the Lord was doing with my life. Recognizing that I’d be in ministry long term, I knew I should have some sound Biblical education under my belt. Being convinced that doing the School of Biblical Studies (SBS) at YWAM Montana was only short term, I willingly packed my bags and headed west to the tiny town of Lakeside.
…When the Lord asked me to do Titus, I was convinced it was a “Abraham sacrificing Isaac” kind of request…
During those 9 months God asked me to apply for the Titus Project. Although I saw the practical aspect of Titus — learning how to effectively teach, preach and apply everything I’d learned in SBS — the program did not appeal to me. I had experience teaching and preaching and there was nothing about going overseas that sparked my interest. I strongly felt called to the West. I wanted to bring the hope of the Gospel to generations of young people in a culture that once upon a time was firmly rooted in Scripture. When the Lord asked me to do Titus, I was convinced it was a “Abraham sacrificing Isaac” kind of request. At the last minute, God would provide a ram for sacrifice and I wouldn’t have to give up my precious dream of implementing a reformed version of Biblical education in the West.
Although my actions in heading back to Montana were ones of obedience, my heart was bitter and I questioned why God wasn’t shutting the door to Titus. In Montana, I kept waiting for the moment God would miraculously provide a way out. Where was the sacrifice that would be sent in my place? Why was I getting stuck doing something I had no desire to do?
I let my bitterness settle deeper into my heart and I constantly wondered how God dared to ask me to do something so far off from where I thought He had me going.
I tried hard to ensure my negative attitude didn’t affect the other excited Titus participants. I let my bitterness settle deeper into my heart and I constantly wondered how God dared to ask me to do something so far off from where I thought He had me going.
The night before I left on outreach, to a nation I had no desire to ever go, with people I did not have a previous relationship with — I wept. I wept hard. I did not want to go.
Over the next 2 months, I sought the Lord in hope of more clarity. The hope I found was that it wasn’t about me.
Like a zombie, I loaded my bags, left for the airport with my team and boarded the first of 5 planes which would take me to my destination. Over the next 2 months, I sought the Lord in hope of more clarity. The hope I found was that it wasn’t about me. It was the reality that the message I carried was something that could never be taken back once I gave it away. Although I found an immense amount of temporary peace when God spoke this to me, I felt myself spiritually spiraling into confusion about where He was bringing me in the future.
In the past, I had been so sure of my direction. This wasn’t a matter of having set in stone plans — I had learned to surrender those a long time ago. But it felt like God was asking me to surrender all of my dreams, all of my ideas and all of the visions He had offered to me about youth ministry and Biblical education. I was confused, hurt, and wondered again how He could dare make me surrender this much. I graduated from Titus with thanksgiving because I now recognized the value of the program. However, I also graduated the most directionless I had ever felt.
I spent most of the following year doing physical labor. During this time, God asked me to labor for Him and not engage in ministry. He was asking me to actively stay away from the things in which I’d felt so gifted and comfortable in before. I was baffled. Shouldn’t my life be about serving God? How was I being an effective kingdom builder when I was working on a farm? I couldn’t preach to plants! In the hours I spent alone, I wrestled with how what I was doing was anywhere close to suffering for the Gospel.
My dreams melted to the side and I clearly knew that joining Titus Project as a missionary would be the most effective place for the Lord to have me.
In early 2016, I finally had breakthrough. I felt the Lord asking me to join the Titus Project with YWAM. It was clear direction but it was also the very thing I had been fighting against doing for some time. The irony of it all was the peace and excitement I experienced the moment I clicked “send” on the email to see if my help was needed. There was a sudden anticipation that this was the most right decision. My dreams melted to the side and I clearly knew that joining Titus Project as a missionary would be the most effective place for the Lord to have me. Suddenly my delight for Him outweighed the desires of my heart and I saw that in fact, those desires had always been one in the same.
Since then, I haven’t looked back. I am so glad that when my heart was bitter, God was patient enough to dare me to be obedient.
Is God daring you to step out in obedience to something you are uncertain of? Are you willing to say ‘yes’?
Come join us for the School of Biblical Studies or the Titus Project! Invest in the Word of God and you may discover how God is daring you to be obedient.
“I always thought it was what I wanted to be loved and admired…. now I think I’d like to be known.” — The Nightingale
The idea of being truly known is something I’ve been pondering for a couple weeks now. My thoughts have been prompted by a reflection on our generation and the roadblocks to true intimacy that we face. For example, fear, shame, technology, false identity we present through social media, etc…
I’ve heard it said multiple times that one of our deepest desires as human beings is to be known.
I’ve heard it said multiple times that one of our deepest desires as human beings is to be known. The older I get, the more I agree with this. We all have a desire for someone to see our truest, deepest self and to be loved and accepted. The fear of not being accepted, understood, or valued stands in the way of building true intimacy with those around us. So we push aside our own voice and adopt the newest catch phrase. We hide our ordinary with perfectly staged pictures. We proofread a text or post dozens of times to avoid coming across any way but perfectly eloquent. The result of all this is relationships that aren’t intimate or genuine. We live our lives of anonymity. This isn’t groundbreaking news to anyone; we’re all aware that intimacy is slowly becoming an ideal rather than a reality in our generation.
…there is a perfect solution to this problem and his name is Jesus.
The reason I’m fixated on this, the reason I think so many are bothered by this reality is because it goes against our deepest desire — to be known. Oddly enough, as I think about this truth, I’m overcome by such extreme joy. This joy comes from knowing that this isn’t a hopeless situation. In fact, there is a perfect solution to this problem and his name is Jesus.
He is the answer to fear, loneliness, shame, doubt…. He not only knows each and every single one of us deeply, He invites us into intimate relationship with him. He doesn’t want our perfectly posed pictures or our facade of confidence. He wants unedited, raw, imperfect us.
The solution to our desire to be known and loved is Jesus.
Looking for deeper intimacy with Jesus?
Come join us for a Discipleship Training School to learn how God speaks when we make time to listen.
A lot happens in your 20s! So, it is important to be taking intentional steps towards formulating good habits. What you put into practice today will shape the rest of your life. Here are five habits I have observed in twenty-year-olds and how God is calling us to something different!
Stop Thinking Only About Yourself
Philippians 2:3 commands us to humbly count others as more significant than ourselves. We are called to love those around us. One of the best ways to do this is to serve. A mindset of servanthood, shifts our focus away from ourselves. It makes us think about how our actions affect others, helps us make wiser decisions and builds up lasting friendships and community.
Stop Running from Authentic Vulnerability
It’s time to break the trend of false community that social media has created. We all crave genuine and authentic relationships. One of the best ways to achieve this is to step out in vulnerability. Be real with people. Share about the things you are struggling with. Talk about the things that make you happy or sad. Open up to people. Vulnerability isn’t easy but it is worth it. Take the time to intentionally invest in real relationships. Leave Facebook and Instagram behind for a few hours and let people into your life.
Stop Trying to Take the Easy Way
We should be intentional, not accidental.
Leonardo Da Vinci once said, “It has long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” What a good reminder why we should not be passive about life. We should be intentional, not accidental. This principle is applicable at work, at school, in relationships, etc. Though our first response may be to busy our schedules, busyness is just another form of passivity. Appearing to be doing a lot of work is not the same as actually being productive. We need to start asking God what he desires us to be working towards. His direction and desire for our lives should be the motivation of our work. And we should run after it with all we’ve got!
Stop Playing the Comparison Game
Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.
Do you want to know a secret? The only one who can truly determine your value is the God who created you! We need to stop looking to our digital likes as the thing that defines us. You are more than just a social media profile. Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel. The comparison game is deadly. You were uniquely made by the Creator of the entire universe. Psalm 139 gives a beautiful picture of the deep identity that can be found in intimate relationship with the Creator. You are uniquely you. Stop thinking that your gifts and talents are not enough. God created you for a specific purpose that no one else can accomplish. Once you fully embrace yourself, then you can stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and just go for it!
Stop Forgetting to Joyfully Celebrate Life
We need to take time and reflect on the goodness of God, his faithfulness to us and the blessings we experience every day from him.
Celebration is important and today is a gift — that’s why it’s called the present. We need to take time and reflect on the goodness of God, his faithfulness to us and the blessings we experience every day from him. This doesn’t mean we forget about hard work and planning for the future but it does mean life doesn’t always have to be work. Having fun and living in the moment is a necessity. It is thanksgiving and praise to God which open the gates of heaven. Sometimes this means we need to choose joy even when everything seems to be going so wrong. In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, it says we should rejoice always and give thanks in all circumstances. This concept is repeated again in Philippians 4:4. Joy helps uplift your perspective and sheds light on the situation you find yourself in. It gives us hope and reminds us of the greatness of our God.
How are you doing in these 5 areas? Ready to develop new habits that bring you closer to God?
Come join us for a Discipleship Training School to learn how God speaks when we make time to listen.
I just love those little sentences that inspire and motivate. Funny quotes, health quotes, Bible verses out of context (that’s a whole other topic!), movie quotes, quotes with beautiful fonts and backgrounds, you name it. And the meme phenomenon has only fueled this obsession. Growing up there was a notebook I creatively recorded quotes in, but it’s 2017. Today, I simply ‘save image’ or screenshot that eye candy.
The problem with this practice? Well, other than all those seconds spent holding my finger down on the screen to save the beautiful words which, are almost guaranteed never to been looked at again (like that notebook tucked away somewhere in my parent’s attic), what has been the actual point? Sure, sometimes they make me think for a second, but what are they actually inspiring? What do they motivate me to do? What action is taken?
…words in ‘quote’ format have become a kind of outlet that I started to recognize was gradually distracting me from life’s finer moments.
This simple activity has recently brought the question to the surface of how I spend my time. Not only online (harmless practices like wishing Facebook acquaintances I haven’t talked to in years and don’t have cell phones numbers for a happy birthday or saving that random bible verse artistically expressed so beautifully) but what I spend time doing period. I believe this has been highlighted because I have 3 young kids and words in ‘quote’ format have become a kind of outlet that I started to recognize was gradually distracting me from life’s finer moments. I knew that nudge to rein it in was from God… he won’t let us wander too far off course. His grace is so unbelievably beautiful.
But in the midst of this technology-driven life, God is not silent.
There are an increasing number of articles floating around right now that talk about the need for this tech-savvy generation to re-learn how to be intentional again with our days and not let the internet or social media hijack our lives and hold it ransom under the pain of loneliness and guilt. Even when we are doing things that are seemingly innocent there is a good chance it’s ultimately meaningless and bowing down to the notification idol sacrifices more than we realize. If you’re in your teens and 20’s, chances are you struggle to remember anything different. But in the midst of this technology-driven life, God is not silent. We just have trouble hearing over all the noise and there is a lot of noise out there.
…I bet in 50 years not one of us will say, “I wish I’d spent more time pinning, snapping, double tapping, and swiping.”
Now, I’m not telling you to sell the tablet or do a Netflix-free weekend. Chances are a little media fast like that will simply be a Band-Aid on a gushing wound that needs deeper attention. But if what you spend your time on isn’t causing positive change in your life or the lives of those around you then I submit that you are probably wasting those precious minutes. Maybe there are weekends of binge watching that bring a certain level of relaxation (you keep telling yourself that) but I bet in 50 years not one of us will say, “I wish I’d spent more time pinning, snapping, double tapping, and swiping.” Those don’t have value. Even if some of those moments lead us to focus for a few seconds on something good, something Godly even, they aren’t actually benefiting our days, causing change or putting action towards anything at all.
My path to recovery started with putting the screen away. It’s not a distraction if it isn’t in my hand. Sometimes we need to stop and take control of what controls our attention. We need to form good habits that will last a lifetime instead of stumbling into bad ones we would never have chosen for ourselves.
Often times to hear God’s voice we need to silence everything else. This undeniably includes anything online. Don’t miss out on the most important connection you’ll ever make because you let pixels steal precious hours of your life that God intended for more
Are you willing to put down what’s distracting you for the sake of the people right in front of you? To experience more of God?
Come join us for a Discipleship Training School to learn how God speaks when we make time to listen.
When I first decided to travel to another country it sounded fun, adventurous and like a once in a lifetime opportunity – plus I could post some cool pictures on Instagram and have an international experience that might impress people. It helps that I’m also single with no kids and little responsibility. This season in life seemed like a great time to travel. At the time, I thought going to another country would be good for me. Turns out it is, but I didn’t expect some of the reasons why.
Things I have learned by traveling to another country:
I don’t live at the center of the universe – As a citizen of Western Civilization, I have a tendency to believe that world history and current events are all a reaction to what happens in my small corner of the world. But, it’s not. My country, my civilization, makes up a small fraction of the population that existed thousands of years before “the west” was a thing. It wasn’t until l stood in the middle of a crowded street in Asia, surrounded by thousands of people who utter syllables I had never heard, that I began to understand this. There are hundreds of languages, cultures, ways of life that millions understand yet I cannot navigate. Just doing something as simple as buying a piece of fruit seems unmanageable. Many fruit vendors overseas have been thoroughly entertained by how stupid I sound trying to speak their tonal language and even more excited at the price this ignorant American was willing to pay for a piece of fruit. It makes me feel really small, and that’s a good thing because I am. It makes me feel really out of control, and that’s good because I am. It helps me realize that I am not at the center of the universe and the world was not made to cater to Western Civilization. And that’s good, because it’s not.
People live differently than me and it’s not wrong – You can disagree but, to a certain extent, I think it is a good thing to look stupid every once in awhile. Traveling to a different country showed me people are different and everyone doesn’t do things the same way I do. For example, try cooking with women from Cambodia. They laugh at the way I cut limes and vegetables with the knives they use. I have no other choice but to be a learner and humbly ask them to re-teach me how to cook when I have already taken culinary class and worked in the foodservice industry. They don’t do it wrong. In fact, their method works really well, maybe even better than mine. It’s just different, it seems weird, and it makes me look stupid. But, that’s okay. Because being a learner and being willing to see things from a different perspective is a gift.
Even when I can’t afford Taco Bell or scrape together enough quarters to do my laundry, I am rich – For most of the world, a family having one car means they are well off. I have a car that I don’t have to share with anyone. I also have carpet in my house, not a dirt floor. At night, I sleep on my own bed, I don’t sleep in one room with my whole family. The poverty, the way of life, the standard of living, it wrecks me and and helps me understand how much I have. Not in a cliche way that makes me feel guilty. Because I shouldn’t feel guilty about how God has blessed me, I should be grateful. Being exposed to the way the rest of the world lives changes my attitude if I allow it. I learn how to be grateful when it is raining and I am stuck in traffic. I am not on the back of a moto with two other people, I am sitting dry and warm in a car – and for that I am grateful!
The world is beautiful – Who doesn’t like adventure, seeing ancient wonders of the world, and the things read about in history books? Or being surrounded by foreign smells and noises I didn’t know existed? Eating the best Thai food I’ve ever had, for less than a dollar, while sitting in a crowded market? Just reading about it or watching it on the travel channel is nothing compared to experiencing it for yourself. It’s the difference between jumping head first into a cool clear lake versus sprinkling myself with a few drops of water. When I travel, I do more than just see the breathtaking Asian countryside, the ancient temples, the mountains of Nepal, the beaches in Taiwan – I engage and experience them with all of my senses. Travel is the best way to take part in such diverse beauty. I don’t have to pin catchy quotes on Pinterest about wanderlust, travel or adventure because I know it, I breathed it, tasted it, felt it, heard it, saw it, and lived it.
People are all the same – When I travel to another country, there have been moments when I connect over an emotion, a common feeling and understanding with someone from a foreign way of life. It is in that moment that the world becomes smaller. It helps me to see that even though most things about their life, down to how they use the bathroom and dress themselves in the morning, are different, we are still the same. We are created in the same way by the same God and He is universal. That is I why travel. That is why it is good to travel to another country. Because people are beautiful and made in the image of God but, most of the time, they don’t know it and someone needs to tell them.
While I was right about many of the reasons I thought traveling was going to be good for me, it wasn’t until I actually traveled that I began to understand why it was truly good for me. Overall, it gave me perspective. A perspective that is bigger than a few Instagram pictures and stories that impress people. If you decide to visit another part of our world, you will never be the same. You will see people differently, you will appreciate things in a new way and, later, you will find yourself missing people and food you didn’t know existed before. Traveling to a different country will bring lots of unexpected adventures and challenges but it is so worth it and it is good for you.
Are you wanting to experience the perspective shift that only comes from traveling to a new country?
Come join us for a Discipleship Training School to learn more about God, how He created us all differently and then travel to experience it first hand.
There is a strong theme throughout the bible that challenges believers to walk in excellence as followers of Christ. But, when I personally began working in ministry, this expectation filled me with anxiety – fearing that my own inabilities would lead to rejection from others if I was not being the most excellent Christian possible. This stemmed from a lie telling me that since Jesus died for me, I could no longer be struggling with insecurity. But, because I am human, I was struggling. And because I was struggling, I began to view this call to excellence as a demand for perfectionism.
I placed my value on what I thought others thought of me based on my actions…
The reason my heart translated excellence into anxiety-ridden, doubting, and insecure perfectionism, was because I placed my value on what I thought others thought of me based on my actions, instead of who God made me to be. This mindset affected me even in my private times with the Lord. I lived more in fear of someone asking about how I spent my time with God, rather than sitting in reverence toward God Himself. As I began to recognize my lack of peace and heightened insecurities, I worried that others would see through my façade. That’s when I felt God expose that I had come to believe that His death on the cross was not enough to cover my imperfections. And if I believed that, then I was believing I wasn’t valuable enough for the price He paid for me to have life. Essentially I was saying that what Jesus thought wasn’t as valuable to me as the opinions of others – that what He had done by taking on my sin, brokenness, and shame is not enough, and somehow I arrogantly thought I could do better.
As Jesus gently led me to see what I was believing, the reality of where my heart was at hit me like a ton of bricks. What I had twisted as an expectation over my life as a Christian, was actually keeping me from fully realizing the depth and gravity of freedom which Jesus paid for me to have. He did not give His life for me to be perfect in my actions, but He gave His perfect life so that I could be loved and valued by Him in the midst of my imperfections.
So how are we to walk in excellence?
Excellence is achieved simply by doing the best that one can do for the sake of another person.
In recognizing His grace over my “performance” as a Christian, I still wondered how I was supposed to walk in excellence while also residing within my imperfect humanity. Even though Christ has grace for my mistakes or shortcomings, I still have a call to be a representative of a perfect God. The perfectionism I had striven for was for my own selfish benefit. In it, my heart was striving for others to recognize and praise me, not the God I was representing. This state of the heart will suck the life out of anyone attempting to do ministry within its borders. Excellence, on the other hand, is a direct rebellion of the perfectionism mind-set. Instead of seeking the benefit of oneself, pursuing excellence comes from the desire to benefit those you are serving. Excellence is achieved simply by doing the best that one can do for the sake of another person. This heart position brings life simply because it reflects God’s love and value towards those being served, while also covering those walking in excellence with His grace to do so.
I am not perfect. I have been (and still am) coming to a place of seeing my lack of perfection as a gift. Not because I am praising my sin or brokenness, but because that’s what continuously points me to my undeniable need for Christ’s grace, which teaches me how be more like Him.
Tired of striving for perfection?
Come join us for a Discipleship Training School where you can learn about God’s infinite grace and how to make the shift to serving others with excellence.
I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve looked around at everyone else and thought, “nobody is as busy as me.” I’ve compared my life to another’s, reassuring myself that I was busier and somewhere in my mind I thought that made me better. My value came from all of the “yes’s” I could give to people. And why shouldn’t I say yes? Usually, it was to things that encouraged my talents and gifts. Though, if it wasn’t, I’d made it work because it was a need I could still fill. But, soon the once a week commitment spiraled into being gone every night of the week (after working an 8 hour shift). I would even try to say no, and people wouldn’t hear it. I’d explain my no, like people needed to hear my reasons, but they still wouldn’t get it. Everything I was involved in and nearly all my relationships were filtered through my “I’m so busy” filter. It was breaking me apart and stretching me too thin. But, it was how I survived – definitely not thrived – through my early twenties.
I needed permission that saying “no” was okay
I wouldn’t say I’m a completely non-busy person nowadays, but I put a much greater effort into not using the word “busy.” In fact, I’ve swallowed the word more than once because it is such a norm to just be busy and tell everyone about that busy. When I say I’m busy, I think I’m busy; when I think I’m busy I get stressed; and when I get stressed I start to judge everyone else – thinking I’m the best at being busy and no one else is as busy as I am. You see how it snowballs into a giant, out of control, doesn’t-melt-until-summer-is-over, snowball? I’m pretty sure I am not alone in this, and I’m ready for it to stop. But, I recognized that it started with me. I needed a mindset and attitude change. I needed to not be busy, and just get organized. I needed permission that saying “no” was okay. Everything in my life needed to change from a dragging chore to joy-filled purpose.
Life shouldn’t pedestal the busy. Life should respect the yes and value the no. So, how can we support each other in this? Here’s a few ideas.
1.When someone says yes to you, be sure to thank them.
How many people are feigning for your attention and involvement? Probably a fair few, and you know you can’t say yes to them all. Therefore, do not expect everyone to say yes to you. When someone says yes to you, they made the intentional choice to do so. Be grateful! A simple thank you card (nothing like snail mail!) goes a long way. I remember when I was applying to go to the School of Biblical Studies in Montana, I sent a check to the base inside of a thank you note – those girls in the office do a TON of work; they say YES everyday to students who apply and have their hundreds of questions, so those ladies needed to be thanked. I figured they probably got a lot of thank you’s for all of the yes’s they give. When I got to Montana months later, I was in the office taking care of some business when the Registrar says to me, “Oh you’re the one who wrote the thank you note! Look, we put it on our wall!” A little thank you goes a LONG way, so be sure to thank those who say yes to you.
2.Hear the no, accept the no, and realize that it’s probably not personal.
Just the other day I was saying no to a customer at work about something, but for the life of her she just wasn’t accepting it. She kept pressing me and pressing me, rewording her question and standing around as if her persistence would make me change my mind. That lady just wasn’t hearing or accepting my no – and it’s not like I even wanted to tell her no! I realistically just didn’t have the means to supply what she was looking for. I used this example specifically to say ladies, I think we’re the ones who are really guilty of this. We ask the one person on our ask list to fill the need we have and when they can’t do it, we take it so personally that we push and pressure as opposed to accept and affirm. And there’s a really good chance that the reason the person is saying no to you (and they don’t need to explain or justify their no) is because they legitimately cannot help at this time. When we’ve got a need that has to be filled (i.e. volunteers for the spaghetti dinner, more leaders for your ministry, a chaperone for the kid’s movie night), be sure to have some back-up options – and be sure you’re good with them. This will make hearing and accepting a “no” significantly easier.
3. Choose words wisely.
Sometimes all it takes for us to feel less busy is to use words like “no” more and words like “I’m busy” less. I really think our busy lives are reflective of busy attitudes and of living in a culture where busy is valued. A couple of years ago I was encouraged to start planning my weeks, including slotting in things like “Sabbath rest” and “social time.” At first I thought I was being ridiculously OCD, but as my mentor assured me, “you’re just being wise with your time!” In fact, as I penned into my week the things I needed to do I found that I was much less stressed and I had more free time to invest in relationships that had so long been ignored. I started saying no to things when it fell the same day as “Sabbath rest,” and I limited myself to being involved in significantly less ministry opportunities. The reality was I wasn’t needed everywhere, and in saying no to people I stopped hindering others from excelling in their gifts. Whereas I previously thought I was the “best,” I soon came to see that there were several others who were better, and that was a gift all in itself (it’s a gift called delegation; a whole different blog!)
So, how about it? Shall we be more grateful, accept the no, and choose the words we use more wisely? You have permission. You’re allowed to take a break. You’re allowed to recharge. You’re allowed to spend a Friday night on a date with the man you fell in love with all those years ago – kids, ministry, homework and busy free. You’re allowed.
God is more sovereign than our no
God is faithful to us when we invest in our relationship with Him and the ones He’s given us to love especially. God is more sovereign than our no, and if whatever you said “no” to is supposed to flourish, then it will flourish under His will. Don’t you worry. Really. Take a deep breath (really, take a deep breath)…hold it there for a minute…you have permission to not be busy, and to just say no. I dare you to try it sometime soon (like…later today?)
Wanting to learn how to say no and stop relying on “busy” as an identity?
Come join us for a Discipleship Training School where you can learn about God’s faithfulness and your identity in Him apart from what you do.
