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Perseverance: Stand up Saints

I write all of this as a biblical christian. One whom desires and seeks foundational truth in scripture, that will help edify us all to persevere and give glory to God along the journey. There is a modern day notion that has been carried through the centuries. In which, as a born again christian you could still somehow lose your salvation, faith, or belief in God completely. This non-biblical concept is one direct reasoning for many believers struggling tremendously in their walk with the Lord today. And even with non-believers, not seeing the point of coming to Christ at all, in fear of eventually losing their salvation all together. However, God is very clear throughout scripture on how He keeps His children in the palm of His hand. Firm and secure, forever. Many people don’t agree, or just don’t like the doctrinal terms: Perseverance of the saints, Assurance of Faith, and even, Once Saved, Always Saved. So, I personally have chosen to use my own: Once Secured, Eternally Kept. As a way for myself to stand firm in perseverance.

“I give them (believers) eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.” – John 10:28 | Jesus, addressing the shepherd (Himself) and His flock (believers) having eternal life secured in Him.

 “Neither height not depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us (believers) from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:39 | Apostle Paul, urges that we are more than conquerors in Jesus, our assurer and sustainer.

“They went out from us, because they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.” – 1 John 2:19 | Apostle John, examines the non-believers going out from the faith because they were never truly saved in the first place. Along with the true believers who had remained and persevered in faith.

So, we can see through the clarity of scripture, the question is not, Could I lose my faith? Or, Could I backslide (sin) far enough to completely lose my salvation? But rather, the real humbling question is, Am I truly saved? Moreover, Am I securely kept in God’s hand until He brings me home to glory? Because, if you are a born again christian there is no question about it. “He who begun a good work in you will carry it onto completion.” – Philippians 1:6 | Believer, that’s a promise. Hold onto it in glorious times, and in the disastrous times that you have. We are promised many troubles and struggles in this life. Therefore, we will fall short often, and even backslide into worldly pleasures that are ingrained in our sinful nature. There is no question about that. However, the persevering believer must have a new heart that breaks towards that sin, and must always come back, humbly seeking God in genuine repentance and reconciliation towards a pure communion with Him. In Christ we can do all things. He is the one keeping, sanctifying, and sustaining us along the way as we walk out our salvation, and as we fight the good fight of the faith.

“The saints shall persevere in holiness because God perseveres in grace. He perseveres to bless, and there believers persevere in being blessed. He continues to keep His people, and there they continue to keep His commandments.” – C. H. Spurgeon

Why did God call me to Mexico?

When DTS began, I was doubting God.

I questioned His existence. I tried analyzing and putting Him into a box. And even though He was performing signs, wonders and miracles in front of my eyes, I refused to acknowledge that His presence was real in my life.

I was scared. I was sure that a King so mighty would never love someone like me. I began DTS as a girl whose heart was so weaved into brokenness that I was convinced my story could not be redeemed. I wondered why He would call me to be His disciple. A girl who refused to proclaim His name.

I walked into outreach still carrying many of those lies with me.

Outreach was difficult, but God is a gentleman. He knew that I needed time to trust that He genuinely wanted us to have an intimate relationship. That His plan for me was far greater than the title of “human.” That I am to be a disciple, a friend, His daughter.

Days passed by quickly during the first few weeks of outreach in Mexico, and my relationship with God still felt weak. I knew that I wasn’t leaning into Him as much as I should. Or as much as I wanted to. My prayers were still desperate pleas for God to show up. I felt unworthy, and I wanted Him to wreck me with a sense of value. To wash over me in great waves of grace and love and restoration. I doubted His existence, but I still was passionate about rising up a new generation of disciples that would love His broken people. That would love people who were scared, and lonely, and seeking Him, no matter what baggage of hurt they hauled everywhere with them. Men and women who had been told that their stories and testimonies were too heavy to be shared. Not pure enough to be brought out of darkness and into light. That their gifts would never be adequate to serve the Most High in the world. People like me.

A few weeks in, I was struggling with questions like: “Where are You, God?” and “Why did You call me to Mexico?”… Why did God call me to Mexico?

I began to pray that He would reveal Himself to me in very specific ways. He was so faithful to those prayers. All of the sudden, it was like a click of a light switch, and He was there. When my heart was empty, He would pour His love into me. On days that I was grieving over moments from my past, God would place someone in my path to show me where He had been. He began to teach me that my past pain can be turned into a ministry opportunity, an empathy that will help heal others. That I can be a wounded healer by sharing vulnerably about where I once was, and with a boldness declare where He now has me.

Mexico is a nation full of broken hearts and people content with living a life that doesn’t satisfy the callings God has placed in them. My presence in Mexico was not necessary for God to work in His people of that nation. He wanted me there so He could work on my own heart.

God is faithful, present and listening. He called me to Mexico to show me those characteristics. He hears my cries, is faithful even when my doubts overpower my belief, and is present by constantly showing me that He wants to heal my heart.

When DTS began, I was doubting God.

I left Mexico confident that I am loved and desired by a God who knows all of me, and still calls me to be His disciple.

Destroy Despair with Joy

Walking into the children’s hospital on the coast city of Guayaquil, Ecuador I thought we had everything planned. We would set up our speakers, do our planned dances, preach the gospel, and pray for the people who came. So when no one showed to watch us dance I began to become discouraged, it was my “job” to make sure we had ministry for our team. I didn’t anticipate the better ministry God had prepared. After waiting for a half an hour after our planned starting time, our contact came up to me with the news that it was visiting hours so most likely no one would show up to watch us perform. So we began to pack up, but I didn’t feel like our time was finished at the hospital.

Just before leaving, a hospital attendant came up to us and asked if we would like to pray for the children who had terminal cancer. What an opportunity! I gathered our team and asked how they felt about praying for these precious children. The decision was unanimous; we would take this opportunity the Lord brought before us. Apprehensive and full of compassion, we entered the small portion of the hospital designated for the terminally ill. We placed the given masks over our faces and half the team entered into this sacred place. I told our team before we went in to listen to what God was saying and be prepared for anything. As we let the Father’s heart consume us we couldn’t help but do what we do best, worship. We began to dance in worship over these beloved ones. Tears began to stream down the faces of the children and parents as hope flooded the room. After we began to pray healing and restoration over all five patients in the room, hope was released. One of the children and his parents gave their hearts to God that day.

After our time of prayer and worship I felt God telling us to destroy despair by bringing joy. So we began to make jokes and in no time colored rubber bands were flying around the room and so was laughter. I left that day not only amazed at how good God is at planning but also in awe of how He used a small team of dancers to bring hope to a very hopeless place. This is just one of the many things God did through our small precious team. God is so faithful!! And he longs to partner with us. Take advantage of the opportunities God places before you to be His hope in hopeless places.

Trust God in the Good and the Bad

Today marked our last day of ministry here in Haiti and the Dominican Republic. As I looked back and though about the past 2 months I felt God asking me what I learned, after thinking for a moment I responded with “Well God, what did you want me to learn?”

SO… What is it that God wanted me to learn over these past two months in Haiti and the Dominican Republic? I mean, I know that God sent us here as a team to bring Hope, Discipleship, and Restoration to these two countries. and I know that as a leader I was here to walk along the students and help them reach personal/team goals and grow into men/women of God. But what is it that God had for me here and how did he want me to grow and learn?

Could it be that he wanted me to come to the realization that despite my age I can be the leader that he tells me I am? Could it be that he wanted me to learn that his plan is better then mine? Could it be that he wanted to remind me that he is always in control? Could it be that he wanted me to learn that walking out in obedience is the best example of walking out effective ministry? YES… I fully believe that these are all things he wanted me to learn, but I also believe that the number one thing that he wanted me to learn was to simply trust in him.

Simple enough right? Yes… But… I can promise you that it gets a whole lot harder to trust in him when all the pre-planned ministry that was set up falls through in the first week of outreach; or when Co-leaders and students are extremely sick and you have to make the decision to leave Haiti (despite being where God has so clearly called you) to head back to the DR early for everyone’s safety and heath… Oh yes, trust me, it is one thing to tell God that you trust in him, but it is a whole lot harder to still trust in him when everything is falling apart.

That being said, over the past 2 months I have had so many chances to trust him in the good and the bad. To trust him when everything is going great and when everything is falling apart. To trust that what we are doing here will have a lasting effect. To trust him that my mess ups won’t effect what the students receive from outreach. To trust him with my future plans. To trust him with finances. To trust him with problems back home. Or simply put, to trust him with everything in every situation despite the outcome.

Was it easy?

NO

Was it worth it?

MORE THEN WORDS CAN SAY!!!

Three Stories for Christmas

We danced the dance.
We preached The Message.
200 stood to pray.
And one was smiling on Christmas Day.

It always surprises me. Maybe it shouldn’t. How everything seems to work out perfectly in the end. Such was the case of the “Three Stories Skit,” a drama created from scratch by our DTS outreach team about two weeks before we left for Thailand. It started as a simple idea from one of our students: What if we told more than just the Christmas story? What if we told three? A three-fold story that goes back to the Garden of Eden, then forward to the Christmas story, and finally finishing with the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. And before long our little idea had morphed into a simple yet wonderfully choreographed production, complete with script, storyboard, music, and props–even a little blue-eyed baby doll, suspiciously doubling as Jesus. We all knew our parts. We all felt a special peace that this skit was something special. We all boarded the plane to Asia.

A few weeks later, I’m sitting inside a cozy little cafe halfway around the world. The cafe smells of coffee and chocolate chip cookies, and its yellow walls are warm and inviting like the tropical weather outside. “I’m dreaming of a White Christmas” is playing from the stereo but somehow I know it’s not in the cards for us this year. Across the table from me is a Brazilian missionary and his wife. He’s a retired soccer player, she plays tennis. I’m not sure if she’s a professional or not. Gosh, I love Brazilians. They’re sitting here with me at the cafe so we can meet each other and plan out a Christmas Day program for next week. I don’t know any details yet, except there’s a high school with several hundred students that would like us to come and share about Christmas. Of course, as good YWAMers, we can’t help but tell them the full story. Stopping at the end of the Christmas story is like pausing a good movie partway through and never finishing it. “So, I will do the preaching,” he begins, “and maybe you can sing some songs, or do a drama or something fun–whatever you like.” I really like this guy, he’s strong, he’s gentle yet also direct, and he speaks with an accent that’s smooth and intriguing like Liz’s boyfriend at the end of Eat, Pray, Love. I listen, intrigued, as he continues. “The thing is, I don’t just want to preach about the birth of Jesus–first, I want to go back and…” Somehow, I know what he’s going to say next, and my heart begins to fill with so much joy at the way God works. “I want to go back and talk about Adam and Eve and The Fall, and then I’ll tell them the story of Christmas, then l want to tell them the good news about Jesus and maybe have an altar call. And I was thinking maybe you can do something to highlight that message. So, what do you think you and your team would like to do?” I can’t hide my grin any longer, “I have something to tell you,” I begin. I can’t wait to tell him about the skit we brought with us all the way from Montana. The skit with the same three matching stories. “But first, I want you to know that God’s been planning this day for a while now.”

We woke up early, even for Christmas Day. We loaded up into the backs of two Songthaews, our thai-style taxis, and we drive an hour and a half through the misty jungle and rice paddies of Northern Thailand to a little town with a high school that had a few hundred students who want to hear about the story of Christmas. We sing them some Christmas songs, we teach them our favorite dance moves, and we perform our Three Stories Skit. When the skit is over we perform it a second time, but this time we do it without any music while our handsome Brazilian explains all three scenes to them, one by one. First, he explains the story of Adam and Eve and The Fall, and our need for a Rescuer. Then Christmas, God’s gift of a special child to rescue the world. And then the rest of the story, the life and death and life-again of Jesus. When he’s finished, he asks the crowd of students and teachers “How many of you believe this story could be true?” Every student raises their hand. “How many of you would like to pray to Jesus, and receive this kind of love for your life?” Every student stands to their feet. Not one is left sitting on the floor. He leads them in a simple prayer asking Jesus to invade their hearts with his love. Everyone prays. Even the teacher nearest to me bows his head and prays along with the rest of the giant room. As I watch the focused intensity on his face as he whispers the words with eyes closed, I wonder just what God is up to on this Christmas morning. I wonder what he will do in the hearts and lives of all these people that he loves. And I realize that this is why I came to Thailand. And this is better than everything I might’ve given up to come here. This is the reason we keep telling the Christmas story. This is the reason we tell the other two. It’s because they’re all part of the same grand story, the greatest story of all time.

Earlier, when I was sitting crouched at the front of the auditorium, an actor in a play with three scenes and one big story, with Mary at my side and a little baby in her arms, a thought came to me as I listened to my new Brazilian friend telling this story to the two hundred strangers sitting in front of me…tales of a beautiful man and woman and a forbidden fruit, and rich wise kings from distant lands and a baby king in a poor stable, and a man who gave up everything to show the world the vast power and greatness of his love. And through each twist of the story: a God in love. A God with a plan. A plan to rescue his people and show them how much he loves them. “Wow,” I thought, as I held my actor’s pose and stared into the eyes of that blue-eyed baby doll, “I really love this story!” A soft smile rested easily on that baby’s face. I checked back later, and that doll is still smiling. And I think the real baby Jesus is a lot like that baby doll, he’s smiling today, too. With 200 more people in on your story, wouldn’t you?

[If you haven’t heard the full story in a while, or ever…then read the first three chapters of Genesis, the second chapter of Luke, and all of John. Three scenes from the greatness love story the world has ever known.]

Gearing up for Endurance Discipleship Training School 2014

Preparing for an upcoming Endurance DTS is a lot like preparing for a mountain expedition. There is gear to purchase, logistics to plan, networking and support systems to build, permits to apply for, speakers and support staff to be invited and trained, and, most importantly, student participants to be recruited and accepted for the next EDTS adventure that begins five months from now (not to mention the shedding of those extra holiday pounds)!

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Jonathan, Ladina and Tim on a post-EDTS hike on the Island Unit of the Swan
While the EDTS staff team enjoys the winter weather here in Montana, we’re also constantly focussed on the things to come this summer. Have you ever wondered what the EDTS crew does in the off-season to stay sharp and involved in missions, discipleship and the outdoor industry? Well, the answer is that the crew is up to a lot this winter in preparation for what’s to come.

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Nathan and Betsy in GNP!
On any given day, you’ll find the team involved in continuing education for EMT and medical certifications, leading the ski/snowboard track for the WDTS, staffing the WDTS, training for the next marathon or nordic ski race, hunting or fishing, training with search and rescue, running youth outdoor camps and finding those sweet gear deals to continue to build up their gear stash. Foremost, however, our EDTS staff team is committed to allowing Christ to be Lord of their lives, walking with Him and proclaiming the kingdom of God as we serve the YWAM Montana community, reach out to the outdoor industry and go to the nations.

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We can say with confidence that this summer will once again be full of adventure and challenging growth opportunities for staff and students alike. As of this post, three of our five off-base trips have been planned. We’ve invited all of our speakers. We’re working on the design and fabrication of a custom EDTS trailer that will help us create both ministry opportunities and a mobile classroom for integration of outdoor industry standards in education. But as I mentioned above, the most important thing we’re doing in this off-season focusses on the students that have been, and will be accepted, into EDTS.

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We accepted a few students this fall and there are a few applications in progress in this new year. Our prayer is to continue to grow the program and so we’re anticipating to have a school of 15 men and women this summer. Would you please pray for this goal to be realized? Additionally, please partner with us in praying for the following:
Student/staff visas to be granted
Finalization of backcountry permits
Outreach opportunities and locations
Safety and health
Lives changed – students, staff and those we minister to

Do you know anyone who might be interested in participating in EDTS? Please send them our way. We would be happy to answer anyone’s questions. The best way to learn more about EDTS and get connected is to visit www.ywammontana.org/edts

EDTS 2014 is upon us!

Click the image below to learn more about EDTS!

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Running After God

It was a cold apple crisp morning, the dark fogged skies blossoming open every hour. My best friend and I threw all of my bags in her little lightning bolted car and we drove into the sunrise. The whole time we were driving, the state of my chest was tight, I could barely think, let alone breathe. “Lord, is this what you have really called me to do?” We had just passed the “Welcome To Montana” sign when all of a sudden– the darkness around me turned to lush green and gold dipped trees waving and gliding with the wave and motion with every step closer I got to Lakeside.

It had been a little over two months since I had finished my DTS in Lakeside. It was a time spent with spring air, sunshine beauty, lilac growth, and dandelion aches. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced that much growth before—it was like a jasmine tea pearl expanding in a teacup. A phenomenon of floral fragrance and sweetness. Something that was so explosive but slowly faded away after every extravagant sip. During the two months spent apart from Montana I continued to repeat the words of Oscar Wilde—

“Some things are more precious because they don’t last long.”

It is those moments when you are infinite— you spend the nights with the hearts that you love, run wild and free, dance until your glass slipper is misplaced. You gaze at the stars under red street lights and hold your breath until a car comes—then you finally wake up from months of wonderland and think, curiouser and curiouser, “Was that all a dream?”

Being back home was an icy slap in the face
compared to the dream I had been living.

“Home” was no longer “Home”. I wasn’t where I belonged. I knew I was called to Montana. I prayed every day for direction and doors to open— but it was the three simple and gentle words that my Mighty King said that confirmed the plans in my heart. “Work”, “Serve”, and “Go”. I had consistently and fervently prayed about what God had been speaking to me about. I wanted to be an intern at YWAM Montana Lakeside and now I was on the sweet mustard-dipped winding journey back to Montana.

Here I am

The gates are open wide and the huckleberry air always brings me right on in with a warm welcome. I am living in a strawberry jam cram dorm with an awesome roommate. I am spending full days as project staff in the Creative Media Department creating video promos all day long. I am serving a church I have wanted to serve at for years. The road has been hard, it has been long, but I am finally here. I am continuously pushing through and trusting in the Lord with all of my heart. I am taking baby steps toward the bigger picture. I am going after my dreams. I believe that God has placed a huge calling on my life for the creative arts and I’m going to follow him with everything I’ve got. Even when I can’t see what is ahead. All I’m doing is trustingly running blind and listening to His sweet honeysuckle voice.

You can do anything God has called you to.

Habakkuk 3:17-19 // Acts 20:23-24 // 1 Corinthians 9:23-25 // 2 Timothy 4:7 // Hebrews 12:1-3

If there is any nugget of wisdom I could give, it would be to get up off of your feet. Take off your shoes and socks to run at the speed of light. Stretch and work your unused muscles. Pursue the desires that God Himself has placed in your heart. Seek what is good. What is right. What is pure. GO. And don’t look back. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. Go after one that’s gold eternally. Count on God’s Rule to prevail, take heart and gain strength. Run like a deer upon the highest mountains!

I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. Philippians 3:14

Annapurna Base Camp Trek

The Annapurna Base Camp Trek – Epic, adventure, challenge, fruitful, new friendships, awe-inspiring, vast, grand, like nothing seen before! These are a few words to describe the three weeks I spent with the team as we trekked from 1000 meters (3510 feet) up to ABC (Annapurna Base Camp) at 4130 meters (13,549 feet).

Upon landing in Kathmandu, we headed out into the city for cultural orientation and exploration. We were blessed to stay at Apple Pie Expeditions’ guest house for a few days while we “acclimatized” to the new culture and then we set out for Pokhara, the starting point for the ABC trek.

While in Pokhara, we got to see all that this part of the Himalayas has to offer the outdoor adventure community. Paragliding, kayaking and rafting, trekking and the beautiful landscape draws thousands of people to this part of Nepal each year.

Pictures may best describe our 10 days on the trek so please be sure to look through the album on the right side of this post. The pics were taken with a trusty iPhone but we hope to update the blog with more shots once the team returns in November.

The best stories from the trek are the ones about other people. We were so blessed to meet so many different people from all over the world. English is the main language along the trek which made for quick community-building in the guest houses each night. Most of the conversations started off with highlights from the day, how many leeches each person found on their shins or in their socks, the tragedies of the day (someone getting injured or having to stay back at lower elevations) and of course, stories of the vistas and grandeur from base camp! But from there, the conversation naturally progressed to deeper, more personal things such as family, faith and challenges in life.

As we built relationships with fellow trekkers and travelers over those 10 days, we were blessed to hear their stories and honored that they would take a minute to hear about ours. We were encouraged in our pursuit to love and serve the outdoor industry and the people of Nepal by those that didn’t share the same values or beliefs and we were able to be ourselves and live out the kingdom community in a unique way. (By “ourselves” I mean that we are Jesus followers who love adventure and who care for adventurers in the industry and the people of Nepal alike!).

One highlight of the trek was meeting up with Ueli Steck’s expedition at ABC. Ueli is a world-famous Swiss climber that is also known as the “Swiss machine”. While we didn’t get to meet Ueli himself, we did have the chance to talk with his climbing partner and photography crew. Our Swiss students in particular enjoyed the opportunity to speak Swiss-German for a few hours! You can read about Ueli’s accomplishment here. More than talking, however, we were able to pray with Ueli’s crew and encourage them in their pursuits.

For some, 10 days of trekking felt like eternity, but for others we could have kept going over the next mountain pass, into the next valley and back up to the next base camp. Either way, after 10 days the whole team was exhausted and it was a blessing to rendezvous with friends and contacts in Pokhara for a day and two nights of R&R before heading out to the next location.

Click the image below to learn more about EDTS!

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The Road to Damascus

I have been a Christian since I was about 4 years old. I have grown up in a Christian home and have read my Bible quite a bit throughout the last 22 years. As I have grown and matured in my faith Paul has become one of my favorite characters within the Bible. I have always been so impacted by the way that he lived his life as a complete sacrifice for the Lord. My prayer throughout my study of Paul has always been that God would cause my life to reflect that same sacrifice and dedication. As I have continued to learn more about Paul, his theology and the reasoning behind his extreme transformation, I have seen that this life of dedication came from his simple and yet complexly powerful revelation of who Jesus was and what He had accomplished by dying on the cross and being raised from the dead. Of all the things to talk about when it comes to Paul, I cannot get away from the fact that everything he taught and lived for stemmed from the one moment where Christ was revealed to him.

The objective of this paper is to show why Paul’s experience on the road to Damascus was so powerful that it took Paul from persecuting those who followed Jesus to calling himself a slave of Christ Jesus himself. Paul’s life took a complete 180 degree turn after his vision of Jesus and I want to examine what Jesus revealed to him that was so impacting. I will start by showing how Paul’s background and upbringing hugely influenced his life and then was even used in a powerful way after meeting Jesus. I will show how the revelation that Paul received gave him no other option than to dedicate his life to the spreading of the gospel to all who would believe. First, I will explore who Paul was before he was confronted with the risen Lord.

A closer look at Scripture reveals a great deal about Paul’s upbringing:

Acts 21:39 – Paul is a Jew and also a citizen of Tarsus, which he describes as “no obscure city”.
Acts 22:28 – Paul was a Roman citizen. Though it was possible for people to purchase this citizenship for a large sum of money, Paul distinguishes that he did not have to purchase his Roman citizenship but had been born into it.
Acts 22:3 – Paul states that while he was born in Tarsus, he was brought up in Jerusalem at the feet of Gamaliel.
Acts 26:4-5 shows us that this upbringing was among the Pharisees, which he characterizes as the strictest party of the Jewish religion. Gamaliel, if it was the same Gamaliel mentioned in Acts 5:34 was the most prestigious rabbi of his time.

This was no small education that Paul had received.  This is communicated even further in the book of Philippians. In Phil. 3:5-6 Paul gives more insight into the history of his education as a Jew. Not only does he show that he was born into the tribe of Benjamin, but he was a Pharisee. The Pharisees were known as the “straitest sect” of the Jewish religion. Paul describes himself as the best of the best when it came to being a Jew. Each of these characteristics mentioned of Paul would have been significant in the Jewish religion. I will talk about why in a bit, but let’s first look at where Paul came from.

Tarsus, as Paul described it was “no obscure city”. Tarsus in fact, was the leading city of Fertile Plain of East Cilicia. It was a very prosperous place and having become a Roman province, enjoyed many privileges of being such, one of which was the exemption from imperial taxation. Those who were citizens of Tarsus were very dedicated to the study of culture, philosophy, liberal arts and education and learning as a whole. Though the students were mostly local and often left Tarsus to further their education, the entire city applied itself to education and could have been characterized as a “university city”. The prosperity of Tarsus was mainly due to the fact that it was located on the Fertile Plain. Tarsus was well known for its linen woven from flax that grew there and also from a substance called cilicium which was made from goat’s hair. We see in Acts 18:3 that Paul was a tentmaker. According to F.F. Bruce, tradesmen in Tarsus were excluded from citizenship because there had been a law put into place by Athenodorus that stated that 500 drachmae was required in order to obtain citizenship within Tarsus. If it is true that Paul was a citizen of Tarsus, as claimed in Acts 21:39, then it would also be safe to say that Paul came from a wealthy family, because they had enough money to buy their citizenship. But not only did Paul claim to be a citizen of Tarsus, he also claimed Roman citizenship, which he was born into and did not purchase (Acts 22:28). Roman citizenship was beneficial in many ways but most importantly it meant that a person was not able to be bound or to be put into prison without first having a trial and neither were they permitted to be scourged or whipped. Also, a Roman citizen had the right to appeal to Caesar. All of this is important in order to understand Paul’s status within society, but I believe his Jewish upbringing was most important to look at.

As I have already noted above, Paul makes claims to his Jewish upbringing in Philippians 3:4-6 where he states:

  “though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also. If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5  circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; 6  as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness, under the law blameless. “[ESV]

From these verses we see that Paul was not only born a Jew but was of the tribe of Benjamin. This was obviously something significant because Paul also mentions it in Rom. 11:1. When Israel split into the northern and southern kingdoms, the tribe of Benjamin found itself in the southern kingdom of Judah. It was during this time that tribal identity was often lost, but there were the few that dedicated themselves to making sure that did not happen. These people became known as “the children of Benjamin”. This is probably the group that Paul descended from. Another thing that we see from these verses is that Paul was a “Hebrew of Hebrews”. Paul distinguishes himself clearly as a Hebrew and, from looking at Acts 6:1, it is shown that there was a distinction made during that time between Hellenists and Hebrews. Both were Jews, however Hellenized Jews were those who had been assimilated into Greek culture, spoke Greek , and even attended synagogues where Scriptures had been interpreted into Greek. Paul felt it was important to note that he was not a Hellenist because he had grown up around Hellenized Jews. Paul’s purpose in mentioning this was to show that he had the purest upbringing of Jewish culture and religion.

If all of that was not enough, he was also a Pharisee. Pharisees were known for their strict adherence to the Jewish Law. The name Pharisee actually came from the Hebrew word “parash” which means to separate. They had most likely come from the Hasidim who had fought along with the Maccabees in the revolt against Antiochus IV when he had tried to “Hellenize” the Jews. Out of this revolt came two groups of devout Jews, the Essenes and the Pharisees. The Essenes lived completely separate while the Pharisees remained active within the Jewish people, only separating themselves by their dedication to keeping the Jewish law in its entirety. They were most well-known for their strict adherence to the law in the areas of tithe and ritual purity since these areas had become less important to many other Jews. The Pharisees were very strict when it came to interpreting the law and knowing what it said on all matters (Acts 26:3).

The question that comes to mind is, “If all of this devotion to the study of the Word of God [being the OT Law] is true, then how could Paul’s mindset have been so contrary to that of God’s before meeting Christ on the road to Damascus?” For the answer it is necessary to look at the gospels and what Jesus had said to the Pharisees, and about them, before moving on with Paul:

Matt 23:13-15- “But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in.” [ESV]
Matt 23:23-24 – “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others.” [ESV]
Matt 23:25-26 –“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.  26 You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean.” [ESV]
Matt 23:27-28 – “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness.  28 So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”[ESV]
Luke 11:43-44 – “Woe to you Pharisees! For you love the best seat in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces.  44 Woe to you! For you are like unmarked graves, and people walk over them without knowing it.”[ESV]

It is clear from these passages that Jesus was more concerned about the condition of a person’s heart than their appearing to be perfect.

 On the outside the Pharisees appeared to have it all together but they were following the Law for all the wrong reasons. In Galatians 3:19, Paul comes to the conclusion that the purpose of the law was actually to highlight sin, thus showing man their need for a Savior. But how did Paul come to that conclusion when his life was so marked by the influence of the Pharisees and he had become as zealous as any of them, if not more, in his striving for religious perfection? In order to determine this, the events of Paul’s life leading up to his experience on the road to Damascus must be examined.

Beginning in Acts 6, there was a group of men, namely scribes and Pharisees, who had become outraged at the things that Stephen had been speaking. Stephen had been preaching that Jesus was in fact the Righteous One, the Messiah, and they had betrayed and murdered him (Acts 7:52). Paul [then called Saul] had been amongst those who were outraged by this teaching and he gave approval of Stephen’s execution by stoning (Acts 7:58-8:1). It was after this that Saul zealously persecuted the Christian church for what they were teaching about Jesus. It says that he was “ravaging the church, and entering house after house, he dragged off men and women and committed them to prison.” So what was Paul really upset about? Why was it so unacceptable for Jesus to be the Righteous One; the One who was to come; the Messiah? The Pharisees too were expecting a Messiah to come, but it was not going to be someone who was crucified. How could it have been when Deut.  21:23 clearly stated that a man hung on a tree was cursed by God? The Pharisaic understanding of how the Messiah would come and what he was coming to do was completely different than how Christ came and what he actually did.

The NT reveals what the expectation was of the Messiah’s coming and what they thought it meant for the nation of Israel. After the time of Daniel, “the Messiah” was a title that referred to a king that was prophesied to come. But, as the Jews continued to struggle against political rulers, the Messiah was also thought to be a political and military ruler who would come and establish his kingdom for the people. They believed that the Christ was going to come performing signs and wonders, but also that he would rescue his people and deliver them from their enemies, after which he would set up a kingdom and rule forever (John 7:31; John 12:34). Psalm 2 speaks of this Messianic King being “God’s son” and shows that God will give him rule over the nations. So for Paul, his expectation was of a physical kingdom that was going to be set up, where the Messiah would rule and reign forever. I can imagine then that there was a definite need for concern in Paul’s mind when Jesus was crucified on a cross yet people proclaimed He was the Messiah. It was completely contradictory to what the Scripture told him was going to happen when the Messiah came, not to mention that Jesus must have been cursed by God in order to have died that way. Paul saw the movement of people proclaiming Jesus as Messiah to be an extreme threat for the nation of Israel as he considered them to be “led astray”. He saw no other option than to put a stop to it in a permanent way. Thus it comes to Saul the Persecutor, who was determined to completely wipe out this belief in Jesus of Nazareth as the Messiah.

Now in Acts 8 it shows that Paul was “ravaging the church” and from Acts 9:1-2 we see that Paul, “still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord,” had gone to the high priest in order to obtain warrants of arrest for those who were followers of Christ in Damascus that he might bring them to Jerusalem to be imprisoned. And it was on this road to Damascus that Paul met the risen Lord.

Acts 9:3-21

Now as he went on his way, he approached Damascus, and suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. 4 And falling to the ground he heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?”  5 And he said, “Who are you, Lord?” And he said, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.  6 But rise and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.”  7  The men who were traveling with him stood speechless, hearing the voice but seeing no one. 8 Saul rose from the ground, and although his eyes were opened, he saw nothing. So they led him by the hand and brought him into Damascus. 9 And for three days he was without sight, and neither ate nor drank.

10 Now there was a disciple at Damascus named Ananias. The Lord said to him in a vision, “Ananias.” And he said, “Here I am, Lord.” 11 And the Lord said to him, “Rise and go to the street called Straight, and at the house of Judas look for a man of Tarsus named Saul, for behold, he is praying,  12 and he has seen in a vision a man named Ananias come in and lay his hands on him so that he might regain his sight.”  13 But Ananias answered, “Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much evil he has done to your saints at Jerusalem. 14 And here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who call on your name.” 15 But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel.  16 For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.”  17 So Ananias departed and entered the house. And laying his hands on him he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus who appeared to you on the road by which you came has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” 18 And immediately something like scales fell from his eyes, and he regained his sight. Then he rose and was baptized; 19 and taking food, he was strengthened.

 

For some days he was with the disciples at Damascus. 20 And immediately he proclaimed Jesus in the synagogues, saying, “He is the Son of God.” [ESV]

 

In the flash of a moment, everything changed for Paul.

Not only did he stop his persecution of the Christians, but he immediately began proclaiming Jesus as well. This is an extreme transformation. As a Pharisee who had grown up in a wealthy family of very devout Jews, Paul had it all. He had studied at the feet of the most prestigious Pharisee; he was leading the way for battle against this blasphemous movement of Christians; and he had climbed to the top of the ladder both politically and religiously. He was striving for religious perfection and he was well on his way to attaining it, until he met Jesus. In that moment, Paul received a revelation that was so profound for him that he was willing to leave all of his “accomplishments” behind and live a life completely dedicated to the One whom he had persecuted. So what exactly did this encounter mean to Paul and why did it show him that Jesus was indeed the Messiah?

Paul was now face to face with the resurrected Jesus.  It was not resurrection that Paul as a Pharisee would have had a problem with. In the OT, it is shown in many places that there was an understanding of life after death for those who were found righteous before God. (Ps. 49:15; Job 19:25-26; Isaiah 26:19; Hosea 13:14). There was a hope amongst the people of Israel that the righteous would meet God after death. But, Jesus’ appearing to Paul in His resurrected form changed everything for Paul. As I said before, the idea of resurrection was not something completely off base according to the Pharisees, because within the resurrection of the righteous there was an understanding that the time for God to fulfill His promises was upon them (Isaiah 26:19; Hosea 6:3; Daniel 12:2; Ezek. 37:9). But how could this be if Jesus was cursed by God? Paul was now faced with the reality of the resurrection which pointed Paul to Jesus’ true righteousness. The time for God to fulfill what was said in the OT was now! Jesus had appeared in his resurrected form and in the same way that Yahweh had appeared to those in the OT. Now what Paul was seeing was that Jesus was not only the Messiah but he was the cosmic Lord of the Universe as well. When Jesus told Paul that it was Him that Paul had been persecuting, this would have meant that those who believed in Him were now identified with Him. If that was true, then what Jesus had accomplished on the cross had changed everything. It had brought about the long expected day of salvation. As Herman Ridderbos says, “It is the ‘appearing of our Savior’ that is the proof of the great turning point of the times. For this reason the whole content of the mystery that has now been revealed can be qualified and summarized in the one word – Christ”. What Stephen had been proclaiming was true! The way Paul had been looking at the Messianic King was completely wrong. Not only that, but now everything he read in the OT had to be looked at through a different lens. Talk about a humbling experience!

For Paul, when the risen Christ appeared to him and said what he did, he realized that there was a paradigm shift. Suddenly there was a realization of what Jesus had really accomplished on that cross by taking our transgressions and how he was truly establishing His kingdom. It was not a physical kingdom as he and so many had thought, but a spiritual one and the rescue for the people of God was a spiritual rescue as well. He realized that it was always meant to be a resurrected Messiah that would fulfill the promises of God. Everything was falling into place now in a new way. It was like someone had given him a key to this massive filing cabinet where everything he had read in the OT now was put into the right place and was organized in a way that made complete sense. He had never looked at it this way before. And the way that God had chosen to go about showing Paul this was perfect in every detail. When God blinded him physically, it showed that he had been spiritually blind and that God was revealing spiritual truth, restoring his sight. This spiritual sight and understanding was something that all of his study and dedication to the Law did not give him. God was showing Paul that He is the one who reveals truth and that it is revealed at exactly the right time. Paul had thought he was on the right track. Reading through the NT I see more clearly how all things fell into place for Paul and that he was now able to look at the OT Scriptures through a completely new perspective of the resurrection.

Paul’s revelation can be seen more clearly in Romans 1:3-4 as he explains that Christ is the Son of God and descended from David. As I mentioned before, Psalm 2 says that the King Messiah is “God’s son”. This is evidence that Paul is now reading his OT with a new mindset. In Romans 4:25 is says, “[Jesus] was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification”. Here Paul is using two passive verbs. In Greek these are two “dia” clauses. “He was put to death dia our transgressions” and “…was raised dia our justification”. In Isaiah 53 these same verbs are used (Isaiah 53:5, 10-11). Paul is now seeing Jesus as Isaiah’s suffering servant. It is through the resurrection that the Servant makes “his offspring” “righteous”. Jesus is the one who took our transgressions upon himself and died the death that was meant for us and through his resurrection we have been justified. Christ’s example of this humble servant can be seen in Phil. 2:5-11

5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,  6  who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9  Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. [ESV]

Jesus was the suffering servant spoken of in Isaiah. Paul is demonstrating the humility of Christ as the ultimate example for believers. This is evident when looking at the way in which Paul views himself in light of Christ’s example when he calls himself multiple times, “a servant of Christ Jesus”. Paul uses two different words for servant when he refers to himself as such in the NT. Paul uses the Greek word “duolos” frequently, which means slave. But in 1 Cor. 4:1 the Greek word used is “huperetes” which means under rower.

Slavery was widespread during that time.

They did not have any rights of their own and were permitted to do only what their masters asked of them. A slave was a thing, something to be owned and the only difference between a slave and other physical assets was that he could become free, but even then, only under certain circumstances. In Roman law the master could free their slave by paying a price for their redemption, but there were certain obligations between patron and freedman in this case. The patron was now responsible for providing for the well-being of this freedman and though the freedman now enjoyed the privileges of a free citizen of the Roman Empire, he was still bound to his master with some responsibilities. He may have worked a certain number of days of the week, month or year for his patron.

The Jewish law of a freed slave was much different than this. In the OT Law during the Year of Jubilee, which occurred in the seventh year, slaves were set free. This could happen on the terms of payment or any other term that the master saw as satisfactory. Manumission of slaves for the Jews was something that was final though, and if the master tried to reserve any rights over the slave thereafter it would make the transaction invalid.

Paul states in 1 Cor. 7:21-22 “Were you a slave when called? Do not be concerned about it. But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity. For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ.” To Paul, Christ had purchased the freedom for all by paying the full redemption price. To those who had been slaves of men, that redemption meant they were free in the eyes of God to serve Jesus as Master and for those who had been free they had now been purchased by Him and were now to serve Him with their lives. So then, when Paul refers to himself as “huperetes” which meant under rower, what was he saying?

An under rower was a military position in the Roman empire. Under rowers were those that rowed in Roman warships at the very bottom level of the ship. There were usually three levels of rowers. This lowest of rowing decks sat about a foot above the water and was reserved for those slaves that had been captured by the Romans and were put to work for their army. They were usually chained to their seats and faced a captain who sat at the head of all of them, giving them strict orders that were to be obeyed promptly. This was a warship. There was no option for delay or for not following orders. This is how Paul saw himself! This was how he wanted others to see him, and his life really did demonstrate it.

For Paul, he saw no other option for his life after that experience on the road to Damascus. Paul saw it as a commissioning. As Christ appeared in all His glory before Paul’s very eyes, the way Yahweh had appeared to those called by him in the OT, Paul knew that there was a calling on his life from God. God had chosen Paul to be an instrument used to bring the gospel to the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel and God was going to show him how much he would suffer (Acts 9:15-16). Paul’s life is marked by that reality as seen throughout his letters and life experiences in the NT. Paul saw himself as the under rower. He had been called by Yahweh! It was for this reason that Paul was able to say:

Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; 26 on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; 27  in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. 2 Cor 11:24-28, [ESV]

And yet still be able to say after listing off his worldly accomplishments in Philippians 3:6-8:

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— 10  that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Philip. 3:7-10 [ESV]

There was no looking back for Paul, only a daily deepening of the knowledge of the truth as he reflected on what he had studied of the OT now through a new lens. The zeal that he had had for the law was now simply transferred and strengthened for the sake of the gospel. He operated without fear in the things that the Lord asked of him. His life was marked by the humility of Christ’s example and the love Christ had expressed through his willingness to die on the cross for our transgressions. This same love flowed through Paul and caused his zeal to now drive him to love those who needed to know this truth. In that simple moment, Christ was revealed and a life was transformed. Paul’s transformation from Persecutor to Under Rower was one that changed history and I am so thankful.

What can we take away from all of this
as believers ourselves?

 For one, we can take away a deeper revelation of Christ’s death and resurrection. As followers of Christ we see from Paul what it means to live a life completely dedicated to Jesus. If we are to follow in Christ’s footsteps as His disciples then our lives should reflect the same dedication to the gospel as Paul’s did. Paul was not an incredible tool because of anything he did on his own. Paul was incredible because he had received a revelation of what God had done for us through Christ and he got it. It is important that we never allow the revelation of Christ’s death and resurrection to lose its power and impact in our lives. May it never become something that we take for granted. May we as well, dedicate ourselves to being under rowers in obedience to God for His glory. Amen.